Gratitude

I learned a great lesson from my husband this week during one of our "pillow talk" sessions. To summarize our discussion into one sentence, he basically said, "the separate feelings of gratitude and negativity can't both exist at the same time." The point is so simple, but I've just never thought of it that way. In the two years since Eden was born, I have felt definite extremes of emotions, some positive and some very negative, and many times I just felt like my emotional reaction to situations wasn't necessarily something I could control. However, since our discussion, as I've pondered that thought I'm beginning to see that though feelings of negativity and sadness are completely appropriate and normal with some situations, I can control how quickly I bring myself out of the "funk" by focusing on being grateful.

Gratitude and negativity can't both be felt at the same time.... I've pondered this thought so much just in regards to the events of this week alone.

Monday after Eden's cardiology visit I was definitely feeling so much gratitude and happiness over the good news that the hole in her heart had closed, and that she would not need any surgical intervention. I was definitely on an emotional "high" until Thursday after Eden's eye exam... let me explain.

Back in January at her annual check up, the doctor saw that both optic nerves were extremely swollen and this began the chain of events that lead to the brain shunt. We went back in for a follow up visit about a month after getting the shunt and the eye doctor said the swelling had gone way down, but it still needed a little more time. Thursday we went in for another follow-up and the eye doctor said the swelling is much worse than it was last time and that we needed to get Eden in to see the neurologist again.

The shunt itself has a couple different settings to control the drainage of cerebral spinal fluid. Apparently the original setting was working because the optic nerves were getting better, but now that the nerves are swollen again, they most likely will just adjust the shunt setting and then check her eyes again in 3 weeks to see if it's helping. The appointment with the neurologist is set for Tuesday of next week and then we will see the eye doctor again Aug. 8th.

Our course with Eden has been so up and down that I wasn't surprised that the emotional "high" was quickly stopped by another complication. As soon as I start to feel frustrated and sad though, I remember that thought from Brad and try to fill my thoughts with gratitude instead. With Eden it seems like we have had one complication after the next, but we have had way more blessings and miracles in her short life than I ever felt deserving of. She is such an amazing little girl, and she fills our home with so much joy and happiness each and every day.

So to sum it all up, I'm tired of complaining, and I don't want to feel sad. I know things could be so much worse and that we have avoided so many obstacles. So today, and hopefully everyday, I will try to keep my thoughts focused on all the things I have to be grateful for, because there are many!


"Gratitude is a mark of a noble soul and a refined character. We like to be around those who are grateful. They tend to brighten all around them. They make others feel better about themselves. They tend to be more humble, more joyful, more likable."Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Live in Thanksgiving Daily," Ensign, Sept. 2001, 8
Topics: Gratitude