A sad day for Eden...

Last night was just ok.  Eden had stomach aches and pretty bad diarrhea from the medications she is taking.  That made for some pretty light sleeping with lots of waking up to go potty.  She woke up still really tired this morning.

She got a dose of morphine around 10pm because she was crying and having such a hard time falling asleep because she was hurting.  The morphine knocked her out pretty good and I decided it was a great time for me to escape to the shower room to get cleaned up.  After coming back, I got settled in the chair next to her bed to take the first part of the night shift with her.  Around 11:30 she went from a complete dead sleep, to bolting upright in her bed.  She moved so fast it completely caught me off guard.  She was still under the influence of the morphine so I could tell she was not totally aware.  I crawled into the bed by her and started asking how she was feeling and if I could help her get comfy.  She kept trying to tell me she wanted something and it was frustrating her that I couldn't figure out what she was saying.  I finally got it figured out that she was saying she wanted to play Legos.  It was pretty funny at the time because she was so asleep and then all of a sudden we are playing. She was very cute.

So then that brings us to an update for today.  Physically, Eden is doing a little better.  This morning they took the drain tube out if her chest which will help to relieve more pain.  She still has the drain tube in her neck incision and hopefully that one will come out tomorrow.  From what we understand though, the chest is where most her pain and discomfort is coming from so taking that drain tube out is a big step in the right direction.

She got the "ok" from the ENT to eat a little if she wanted.  It's really hard to swallow with that huge tube back there but it's possible.  We got her a chocolate chip pancake this morning which is a favorite of hers.  The first bite she gagged pretty bad, but she wanted to try more.  She ended up having probably about ten bites before she was done.  Obviously they are still doing her nutrition through the feeding tube.

Emotionally though, today has been probably the worst day for Eden.  Since the time she got up this morning, she has just been sad.  She has been pretty uninterested in anything to do or watch.  She has hardly attempted to communicate with us at all.  She is mostly just looking away and not making eye contact.  She is also completely ignoring the nurses and RTs when they ask her questions or try to talk to her.  I think being here is really starting to wear on her.  I can only imagine how hard it must be to be in pain, have those horrible tubes hanging off her face and IVs in both hands.  And if that wasn't bad enough, it's incredibly hard to swallow and she has no voice or sound at all.  I'm sure she must be feeling very lonely and isolated even though either Brad or I have always been with her.  She is feeling sad and frustrated and I don't blame her one bit.  Sometimes I just need days to be sad and mad so I understand what she is doing and I'm just trying to be here for her to help her feel loved.

I was laying down next to her to help her feel comfortable and snuggled as she was falling asleep.  She was having a hard time finally giving in to the exhaustion I know she is feeling.  I asked her if I could do something for her and tears started streaming down her face and she mouthed, "mom I just want to go home."  I wish so bad I could scoop her up and take her home.  Unfortunately we are still here for quite a while, but hopefully when that tube comes out of her nose and she can talk and eat that will make a big difference.  

Oh Eden my sweet baby girl, my heart breaks for you.

Improvements

Right now Eden is resting and watching "Disney Sing-A-Long - Disneyland fun" which is a favorite for her and Bentley both.  Daddy is laying in the hospital bed next to her, all cozied up under the "Frozen" blanket. I figured it would be a good time to get some info down about the day.

First, I have it say that in the days leading up to this surgery, Brad and I pulled out my blog book from 2011 and read the posts from the last reconstructive surgery.  It was hard to read the emotional stuff knowing we were about to start again, but it was also so helpful to read what happened day to day as far as improvements, and what medications worked, etc.  I find this blog is such a good outlet for me, but is also such a good record in case we find ourselves back in the same boat we have already been in.

Today has had its ups and downs, but there have definitely been improvements.  She is no longer on the ventilator, and when awake and alert she is also off oxygen.  We have been able to switch back and forth between the humidified collar and a HME which gets the really big tubes off her face so she can move easier.  We have been able to hold her a lot which we have all really enjoyed.  She has been off the sedation medicine so she is very much alert and aware of what's going on, though physically she is very weak. It's still really hard to tell what she is saying sometimes, and she gets frustrated pretty quickly, but overall I've done really well with reading her lips and knowing what she is trying to communicate.  She has told me several times today, "I don't like this mom" "this isn't fair" and "I don't want to be here" but she has also said sweet and happy things like, "I love you mom" and has been incredibly understanding when I explain why we are here and what we are doing.  She is so mature, everyone comments on how well she cooperates and how well she is handling all this. 

As far as pain control, they have kept the rotation with Tylenol and Toradol pretty constant every three hours. A couple times today she was also given a dose of morphine because she was in pretty bad shape.  It's so nice that it starts to work very quickly.  She also had to get an anti-nausea medicine because she had some bad dry heaving spells for a bit.  That was horrible to watch her body trying to vomit while she has a huge tube through her nose and down her throat.  Fortunately that medication helped and she hasn't had more issues with that.

She also started getting some formula through her feeding tube around mid day.  I think that has really helped her feel better too.  I'm sure all the medications she was getting on an empty stomach weren't helping her to feel too good. 

She has been able to start to stretch her body a little. She wanted to stand up on the bed, and she also got up to walk to the potty once too. 

We have been watching shows, reading lots of books, and at one point she even wanted to play Legos.  I did all the building, but she would choose the picture from the instruction book that she wanted me to build.  She loved getting each set up to look just like the picture in the book.

At one point I asked if I could take her picture with what she built. She said yes and then she even tried to smile a little. Sweet girl.

Based on the day we have had today, I feel like it will be a better night tonight.  Hopefully we can all get a little sleep.  Brad and I will still need to rotate so one of us is awake to see if she is awake and needs something, but I think it should go much better than last night.  In the gift shop, Brad found a little toy with a bell in it.  He gave it to her and said to shake it loud if she needed something and we couldn't hear her.  It was such a great idea and I think it gives her comfort knowing she can be heard on the off chance that we aren't noticing her awake.

Everyday has it's hard setbacks, but overall every day gets a little easier.  It's always one step back, but two steps forward and I'm grateful for that.

Stephanie sent me a few pictures of Bentley and Olivia today.  I heard they had another fun day, and based on the pictures, they appear to be very happy.  :)  I miss them and look forward to seeing them soon.

Today's Goals

Last night was ok. She "woke up" several times throughout the night and needed a few doses of morphine and Precedex (which is the anti-anxiety/light sedation medication).  She was aware enough to communicate some with me, but I could tell she still wasn't totally "awake".  In the early morning hours today they started weaning her from the Precedex, and about an hour ago she really woke up.  She was in a lot of pain.  She was incredibly confused and scared. She was sad, but this time she was also mad.  She kept trying to sit up and pull her arms up, all of which we are trying to avoid in order to keep the breathing tube from getting pulled out.  Her nurse was helping to stabilize everything, and I was able to talk to her and help her begin to calm down.  I tried to explain to her better about what was happening, what was in her nose and throat, and why we couldn't hear her voice.  I'm not sure she totally understood, I'm sure we will be having many more similar conversations today, but it at least calmed her down.  Then the next dose of morphine came in and that really helped.  They decided she probably isn't ready to go down quite that low on the Precedex so for the time being they turned that back up a bit.

She is also on some antibiotics, nebulizers, anti-reflux, and Toradol and Tylenol for pain as well as occasional morphine when things get bad.

Today, hopefully soon, they will start giving her some milk through the feeding tube.  I'm hoping that will help a lot in overall comfort.  She hasn't had any food or drink since Thursday so I'm sure her body feels very hungry. They have taken her off the ventilator so she is breathing on her own, but is still on some oxygen.  They are starting to wean the oxygen and the goal for today would be to have her up and moving a little more today.  Hopefully we will get to hold her and snuggle some to get her body moving around a little.

The ENT team came and did bandage changes and cleaned the incision sites.  Everything looks good there. 

So far it looks positive.  Each day will get a little easier.  

Now as she is waking up, her eyes look more normal and clear like she's really in there.  I can tell she finds a lot of comfort just making and holding eye contact.  She needs me and I'm grateful I can be here. Several times last night she would mouth the words, "stay by me mom". She asked to watch a show (we decided on Frozen, of course) but before it even got through the opening song she was back asleep.  She has IVs in both hands so it's hard to hold her hand so right now I'm sitting on the foot of the bed holding her foot.  She likes when I rub them and I've even put a few essential oils on her feet which she nodded yes when I asked if it felt good.  Honestly, who knows if the oils really do anything, but it creates sweet bonding moments for her and I and she says it feels good so it's completely worth it.

Brad and I took turns sleeping in a couple hour increments last night.  It wasn't restful for either of us, but it was some sleep to keep us going.  

I miss Bentley and Olivia so bad.  I want to hug them and kiss them, but I also feel like seeing them might break me from this "go mode" I'm in. I'm trying to keep the emotions strong for now and I'm not sure how to handle the back and forth.  It's weird to explain, but I'm feeling very torn.  Now that I go back and read that it seems so selfish, but I feel like if I can't be strong for anyone then I'm really no good at all. I think for now I need to stay right here at the foot of Eden's bed.  We will see how today goes and then just go from there.

Post surgery update

After some horrible time just now with the x-Ray techs, Eden was given a dose of morphine and is now sleeping pretty peacefully. It's been about 20 minutes straight which is the longest she has remained clam so I figured I might as well keep myself busy and do some updates.

The surgery lasted about 7.5 hours from start to finish.  Fortunately we had a nurse from inside the OR who called us about every hour to let us know things were going well and Eden was stable. She couldn't really give us any details at all as to what was happening, but she assured us each time that Eden was well and that's what was most important.

The time actually went by fairly fast.  I slept horribly last night so I thought I would try to get a little nap in between update calls but that was a bad idea.  Definitely for me, keeping my mind and hands busy with netflix and my poor attempt at crocheting was the best way to go because being still and trying to rest gave my brain way too much flexibility to start thinking...

We had a good visit with Dr Prager after he left the OR.  He showed us pictures of her airway, and drew us diagrams of what he did and what the graft looks like in her trachea.  He took a rib from the same side as last time and even used the same incision site.  This time he just did a graft in the front (last time he had to do a posterior and an anterior graft).  

She has drain tubes in both her chest site and her old Trach site.  These have dressings over them which are already starting to get pretty saturated.  I know changing those is going to be bad and I'm expecting it's going to have to happen sometime tonight. 

So here's all the good news: he said the operation went as best as possible.  There were no unexpected complications or problems.  The Trach is out! (So weird) He got the graft sewn in tight and it didn't appear to have any air leakage.  

She currently has a pretty big breathing tube (size 5.0) in her nose and down through her trachea.  In her other nostril is a feeding tube because with that breathing tube in she can't swallow.  The plan is to keep the breathing tube in for about a week to allow some time for the reconstruction site to begin the healing process with the tube holding it open.  Next Friday he will take her back to the operating room and do a bronchoscopy. If all looks good, he will downsize that breathing tube and then it will probably come out all together the next day.  When that comes out the feeding tube can also come out.  And that's when things will get interesting, which leads me to the not so good news.

Eden has pretty bad tracheomalasia. Her airway below the Trach and reconstruction site is very soft and squishy and her Trach was helping to hold that open.  Now that the Trach is out, we don't know what her trachea will do.  Even if everything in the reconstruction heals beautifully, things could get really bad if this malasia in the lower airway prevents it from staying firm and open down below the reconstruction site.  This week will most likely be pretty uneventful, just working to keep her comfortable and the pain tolerable, but once that breathing tube comes out the real informative stuff will start to happen.  He said it's not likely, but there is a chance (maybe 10%) that the Trach would have to go back in. Before doing that though there are some other options we may try first.  We will just cross that bridge when we get there.

So that's all the informative stuff.  As far as the emotional stuff goes, I'm doing ok.  The exhaustion of the day is starting to set in, but I know I can't sleep because she is waking up so frequently and I can't hear her so there's no way I'll be able to relax enough to go to sleep.  Brad is sleeping right now, we decided it would be best to take shifts, but even when my turn comes around I'm not sure how much rest I'll be able to get. 

 The first little bit is always the worst.  When I reunite with her and see how horrible she looks it takes everything in me to hold myself together.  We got into the PICU just as she was waking up and it took all of two seconds for me to realize she was sobbing but not a single sound was coming out. The breathing tube in her throat has completely blocked all sound.  Several times she has attempted to tell me something and sometimes I can figure it out, but most times I don't know what she is trying to say and it breaks my heart.  What I did understand from her was that she needed a drink, and then she kept saying, I just want to take it out.  Most times though she looks like she is talking so fast and I can't tell what she is trying to say.  She is on an anti anxiety medication and it's helping to keep her a little more relaxed.  So when she is awake she isn't completely aware and awake, but enough to ask for me, or answer our questions, or try to figure out why she can't lift her arms (they have her tied down to the bed so she won't pull her tubes out).  She is only awake for short periods at a time though before she goes back to sleep which is good.

We have a great nurse tonight. I can always tell within the first 15 minutes whether it will be good or bad.  I get great vibes from her, and she is completely on the same page as far as pain control and doing everything possible to keep Eden as comfortable as possible.  I'm very grateful for her and hope she will be working the next couple nights.

So now we wait.  We know from the past that the first 24 hours is always the worst.  I'm not sure how we will do all this, as far as time with the other kids or sleep is concerned, but we will figure it out one day at a time.

Thank you grandma Malarsie for the beautiful "Frozen" blanket.  She was awake and crying at one point and I told her I was snuggling her up in it and reminding her about the cute snowballs on the edges, and she nodded and said "ok mom".  

I love this girl, she is amazing.

Surgery day is here!

This morning driving in to the hospital Eden was so excited. She remembered that on the side of the hospital there is a big blue guy holding balloons, and she said, "I really like that guy."   She was almost giddy talking about anything and everything. She was so excited because she is very ready to get her Trach out and she knew they were going to do surgery to try it get it out today.

We told her we would be sleeping here at the hospital for a while while they made sure she was doing ok and she was genuinely happy about it.  I'm grateful for her innocence and lack of understanding. Her happiness today proves to me that hard things in the past have been forgotten which brings me lots of peace.  I hope she will forget this upcoming week too...

She loves getting the bracelet with her name on it from the check in desk.

She got to choose some stickers from a big basket and she picked out a Spider-Man one for Bentley which I thought was sweet of her.  Then we colored a Doc McStuffins picture while we waited for her time to go in to the operating room.  I told her about when I was young and how much I loved coloring those fuzzy velvet pictures, so she let me help her but was very specific about what I could color and what colors I could use.  She wanted all the colors to be exactly the same as the picture on the label.  :)

The night before we left home, as I was tucking her in she said "mom I'm so excited to get my Trach out, but tell the doctor when he takes it out to do it slowly because when you take it out fast it hurts."  Every week we take her Trach out and put a clean one in.  I think she was under the impression that the doctor was just going to take her Trach out like I do each week and that was going to be it.  That night as I went to bed I thought about the best way to help her understand what we were doing without causing her to be scared or anxious.  So today before going in we talked to her a little more about the plan.  To make a long story short, I just explained to her that there is a spot down inside her neck by the Trach that needs to be fixed before he can take the Trach out and leave it out. Today she would be going to sleep and the doctor would be trying to fix that spot inside her airway.  She seemed satisfied with the explanation and didn't have any questions or worries.

We got to talk with Dr Prager a little bit before going back into the operating room.  He answered some of our more functional questions but a lot of the major fears and concerns we have won't have answered until he gets in there and the process begins. He let us know he wanted to do a flex scope camera in her nose to see her vocal cords move before she went to sleep but that we could be in there with her while it happened.  

So Brad and I suited up in our gowns, hats and masks and I carried her into the operating room.  The room was full if people and I could feel Eden starting to tense up a bit. She sat on my lap as they put the camera scope in her nose and down her trachea.  She was trying to be strong but began to cry.  They were trying to see her vocal cords move so we were trying to get her to count with us, or say her name, but she just sat there crying refusing to say anything.  I whispered in her ear that they need to hear her voice and she needed to say something so they could take the camera out, and then through her sobs she said, "mom I just don't like this."  I did my best to comfort her and hold her tight, all the while reassuring her that they were almost done.  I started to look up towards Brad but the second my eyes met his I realized it was a bad idea because I almost let go of my own emotions.  I needed to stay strong for her and unfortunately that meant I needed to not look to Brad for my own reassurance.  

From the time he put the scope in until it came out was really only a few minutes.  They were hard for her, but it passed by quickly and when they got it out she calmed down really quickly.  At this point I helped her get cozy on the operating table.  Brad and I stood on either side of her and held her hands and talked with her as they hooked her up to the gas and she quickly faded out.  We gave her our last kisses and headed out the door.  

Operation start time was just after 11 am.  Now we are sitting in a private room where we have made ourselves cozy for the day.  They expect it to take 6-7 hours and will call us periodically with updates from inside the operating room.  

Over the last couple weeks I have had several emotional breakdowns I guess you could call them.  I've let all my fears and anxieties overwhelm me and get me down and I've cried and let out whatever it was I was feeling, whether it was rational or not.  For me, doing that is absolutely essential before the actual events because today I feel nervous and anxious, but I feel strong.  I feel like I've let the crazy out, so now I can be logical and ready to deal with what comes. More importantly, I'm ready to be strong for Eden.  When we reunite, I know I can be there to support her in a way I need to be without worrying about being an emotional mess.  This isn't to say I won't have those breakdowns in the days to come, but I'm in "go mode" now and I feel strong. I love that girl so much and would do absolutely anything in my power to help her.

I'm so grateful for Brad and that we are here doing this together.  I know we are on the same page and that brings a lot of comfort and peace.  He is an amazing daddy and has, and will continue to help Eden feel so much comfort and security.  

I'm so grateful for Stephanie and her genuine willingness to love and care for Bentley and Olivia while I am here at the hospital. I have thought about them a lot today, but only because I miss them, not because I'm worried about them or worried that they are a burden on anyone.  It's brought so much peace to this crazy situation and I know Stephanie will never know the depth of my gratitude.

We have been so overwhelmed by love and support from all our family and friends.  I truly feel so blessed.  I'm grateful for the power of the priesthood and the beautiful blessings of peace, comfort and healing that we all received before coming out here.  I know we have Heavenly help and I'm so grateful for the countless prayers being offered on her behalf today.

And now we wait....

My thoughts lately...

This week, Friday, is the big day - trachea reconstructive surgery #2. It's hard to put into words all the things I'm thinking and feeling - heck, it's hard to even make sense of it in my own head. I have found in the past when we are going through hard things, that it's somewhat therapeutic for me to write and get some feelings out, so here it is. Whether or not it will make any sense, well I guess we will see.

Basically, I'm ready to get it over with. In April we found out she would need this surgery, and since then it has been haunting me and recently it has literally been consuming even my dreams. It's been a very fun summer, and I've successfully been able to mostly put it aside, at least all the emotional side of it, which has been really good because I've really loved and enjoyed the last few months with my family. The down side though is that now it's time to let the emotions and anxieties come so I can work through them, and in a way, let them overwhelm me so when the surgery is here, I'm geared up and ready to face it completely.

I've learned over the years with Eden, as the anticipation builds for a big surgery, the weeks prior are always some of the worst. My mind races with the practical things to prepare - like travel arrangements, packing for an undetermined amount of time, someone to take care of the dog, etc. and then it's made foggy by all the emotional confusion. The emotions are always the anxieties of what's to come, but also the haunting reminders of the emotional toil from the times past and knowing that somehow I have to face it again.

In the past I built a lot of emotional walls - coping mechanisms to get through. Those first few years of Eden's life were so incredibly intense. It was one major thing after the next (literally for years!) so in a way it was almost easier to cope because I felt I never really came out of the fog I didn't even know I was living in. It's been a couple years now since her last major surgery of any kind. We've had two healthy babies, vacations, preschool, dance classes - normal life. These things have healed wounds, but also makes the reopening of them incredibly scary. Dealing with this upcoming surgery is not just facing the emotions of this experience, but it is a horrible reminder of the life we used to live too.

That "old life" filled with surgeries and hospitals and countless doctor appointments was, in the practical sense, much less complicated though because it was just me, Brad and Eden. Brad was there for everything he could be, and he was amazing at maintaining his career and keeping our household afloat so I could focus 100% on Eden and doing everything she needed, physically and emotionally. This time though we have to do those things and also take care of our two other babies. It creates some complications that have made this already emotion packed event even harder for me.

Ok, so I know in the end it's all going to work out. Neither Bentley or Olivia will be emotionally damaged or scarred because of this experience - logically I believe this to be true. But with that being said, I've still stressed over how to still provide for them and be there for them and Eden at the same time when they are all in different places. It's made me feel torn in ways that I haven't had to deal with before. Olivia is nursing and I've stressed over how to make sure she is fed around the clock, but she can't be in the hospital with Eden where I feel like I need to be so who do I choose? Bentley will be confused and wondering where we all went. Poor guy will just have no idea what's going on. I'm not good at asking for help, but this time I've been forced to ask because I can't take care of all three of my kids at the same time. That thought alone is heartbreaking to me, but then I also feel like my burden is now having to become someone else's too because I can't care for them alone.

Having life interrupted in this way is hard enough, and then we are away from home and our comforts. Dealing with medical issues is so scary and completely out of our control, and we don't even have our home to find solace in the late nights, or some semblance of "normal life" to help bring peace after emotionally draining days. I wish we could be home, but unfortunately that isn't a choice we can make.

With all that being said though, I feel so blessed that since we have to be away that we are headed to Denver. That Children's Hospital is amazing. We have had top notch care and resources available to us. And even more important is that we have family there who do their best to support us and help us feel as much at home as possible. It is a tremendous blessing and one I don't ever mean to sound like I take lightly. I do believe it's a tender mercy from the Lord because it has helped us tremendously in the past, and will be even more important this time now that I have Bentley and Olivia. My sister in law Stephanie has graciously offered to watch Bentley every day, and Olivia too if she'll take a bottle. I'm so grateful for her willingness and the fact that I feel such a huge burden lifted knowing my kids will be loved and cared for when I can't be with them. I don't think I can even portray the depth of my gratitude for her.

People lately have been asking how Eden's doing and if she knows what's going to happen. The short answer is that she knows she will be getting surgery to try to take the trach out. We have not shared any details beyond that though because it will just create fear and anxiety in her that she doesn't need. She is actually really excited about the possibility of the trach coming out because she wants it out so badly.

When we took the trip in April, we went in to that one almost sure we were coming home without the trach. We were all completely blindsided by the news that the trach wasn't coming out without surgery. So with that being said, she went on that trip too thinking that her trach might come out. We didn't make a big deal out of it then, just in case, and I'm glad we didn't because the worst case scenario came true. Since that trip, the discussions we have had with her is that we are working with the doctor to fix the problems that still exist and we are working on a plan to get the trach out.

Over the past couple months Eden has had several emotional breakdowns about her trach. Each one usually stemmed from her realizing that she couldn't do things other kids could do (like going down the water slide, or sleeping without machines). Sometimes it's in that moment of jealously that she comes to me crying and saying it's not fair, and other times it's when I lay by her at bedtime and we talk about her day and she starts to feel sad and ask questions about why she has to have her trach. All I can do is validate her feelings and then let her know that every one has hard or different things in their lives. She is usually reassured knowing that we are working on a plan and hopefully her trach will come out soon.

What I can't let her know though is that the jealously she is feeling is something I'm feeling for her too. I feel sad for her and my heart breaks when I see her sad about something she can't do or insecurities she has because of her trach. I'm jealous for her that all her friends are starting kindergarten and exploring all these fun new adventures in life, while she has to wait for kindergarten because her life is going to be really hard and complicated for a while. I'm sad that she is experiencing feelings of jealousy and I'm frustrated and heartbroken because I feel it too for her sake.

I love her so much. She is such a strong and courageous girl. Since day one of her life she has proven to be a fighter. Her spirit is strong and I believe she has Heavenly help to get her through days like we are about to experience again. I am scared for her though. I am scared of the surgery and the possible complications. I am scared of the recovery. Unfortunately though, this is the step necessary if we want this trach to ever come out. Now it's just time to get in there and start the process. I have a couple more days to work out my crazy emotions and then it's go time...

Wrapping up the month of August

When it's time for a nap, the conversation always goes like this: "Bentley find your bean because it's time to go rest." "No thanks mom, I'm not tired." but within minutes he looks something like this:

Eden worked for a long time on patterns. She did a great job!

I'm pretty impressed with Bentley's coloring skills. Not bad for a kid who isn't even 2 1/2 yet.

Olive and her two cute little teeth!

I overheard Bentley using Olivia's feet as a telephone. I captured the tail end of that moment. Cute boy - he is so sweet and gentle with her.

This past weekend we were able to have the Pickett girls stay with us while Chad and Annie went camping. We had such a blast! The kids all get along really great and we were able to do some fun activities. Eden was especially excited about the sleepover.

There was lots of dressing up. This is Lydia and Eden playing superheroes.

It was tons of fun, but it was busy for sure! These six kids kept Brad and I moving and hopping because someone always needed something, or there was always some sort of adult intervention needed somewhere.

I don't even know how we managed to get them all to sit for this picture, but it's adorable. And it also makes it very obvious that the Picketts and the Justices are on opposite birthing schedules. Lydia is 6, Eden is 5, Grace is almost 4, Bentley 2, Claire 1, and Olivia 5 months. Cute kids for sure....

P.S. just for the record, I'm hoping Bentley and Claire will get married someday. :)