Eden likes her Uncle Michael

Just as he was before leaving to Afghanistan, Michael is so cute with all the kids and babies. Eden was really having fun playing with his hair and feeling his face.

Michael, we are so glad you're home! Our family just wasn't the same with you away. This Memorial Day means so much more to me now because of you. Thank you for the sacrifices you made and will continue to make for the freedom and liberty of others.

You're my hero.
I love you.

Fun Times in May

This month has been a crazy one and I've fallen behind on my blogging! With Michael's homecoming and Eden's health issues I have not had a chance to blog all the little fun things that have been happening too! So here comes a big post of random fun times! :)

We were able to have my future sis-in-law Jesse and her adorable daughter Kadence stay in our home for a little while when she first moved here and these two girls became fast friends!

Eden loves to clap and does so very frequently and Kadence would always start too when she saw Eden doing it. They were too cute.



Within the first few days of Jesse's arrival to NM we were also able to go to the zoo with all my sisters. It was such a fun day!

Here's the group having a delicious picnic in the park.


Erin must have been bored looking at the animals and was doing her own balancing act with Lincoln. I have no idea where Kally was and if she approved of this activity.


Kadence loves to be held by pretty much any one other than her mom :) even if someone's arms are already full! I love these two girls!




Wren and Eden chilling in their carseats.



We were also able to go back to the zoo just a few days later for a company party with Brad's work. We were happy to have Brad with us this time.


The polar bears were being really entertaining that day. Their pool always looks so refreshing and makes me want to go swimming, even though I don't even like to swim that much! :)


Eden and Brad finishing lunch at the zoo. I think she was happy to be there.



The rest of the pictures are just random shots that I thought were too cute to skip over.

Eden loves to play in this exersaucer but the fact that she is connected to oxygen creates quit a mess. Notice the tube wrapped around her a few times? At least this time it's around her chest. I've caught her in here with it wrapped around her neck a few times. Oh dear....


When Jesse and Kadence were still with us we had some friends and their kids over and they all enjoyed the pool even though there was no water. It was really cute to watch them socializing.


I wonder if she'll always be this flexible?! :)


This month Michael and Jesse got engaged so there's been a flurry of wedding plans which has been so fun! All the girls (and babies too of course) were able to go dress shopping with Jesse. Mom insisted she take the picture so she wasn't in it, but she actually is in it afterall! Good photography mom, you even captured yourself in the mirror, twice!! ha ha


We just can't get enough of our little girl and her happy attitude! I also absolutely love the fact that she loves to cuddle and snuggle. It will be a sad day when she's no longer interested in that! :)

Results from the Bronch

Our prayers were answered and Eden was healthy enough for the bronchoscopy to go forward. Yay! The end results were basically what I was expecting but this appointment was a critical step in moving forward and creating a plan. Here's what was explained to me by the ENT doctor:

The problem area in Eden's airway is a very small portion above her trach and below her vocal cords. In this tiny area there appears to be really extreme swelling that basically restricts all air flow through the airway. The doctor said it was so tight she could barely fit her scope through, and Eden was only getting tiny bubbles of air through. This explains why she needs the trach in general, and also why she has not been able to tolerate the speech valve piece which blocks her from exhaling through her trach so she can make sounds and exhale through her mouth and nose.

Unfortunately the doc had no idea what was causing the swelling. I asked her if it was possible that it was damage from a bad intubation because she had so many tramatic intubations to the ventilator in the NICU, and she said it could be scar tissue, but it didn't look hard like scar tissue usually does. Ok, so I'm pretty confused at this point - what could be causing the swelling in only that area when below the trach and above the vocal cords looked ok? It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

So where do we go from here? The doctor said she thinks Eden just needs more time and that she would recommend another bronch next summer to see if there have been any changes. Unfortunately though, she isn't optimistic at all about Eden's trach even coming out next summer. Sigh... this could be years? Ok... I can handle that and I think Eden can too.

So time and waiting is this doc's plan of action. My plan - to get a second opinion. Something is causing the "swelling" and I would like to have a better understanding of what it is and if just giving it time really is the only option. Looks like we'll be taking a road trip to see another doctor - I just need to make sure our insurance is on board.

Fortunately the doctor did say that Eden's vocal cords did seem to be working ok. They were moving as they should, but she did say they looked really small. She didn't have any further info for me though as to why that may be, or what that means for the long term. I guess I'll have to get a second opinion on that too. We've got time on this one though because I guess if she is going to have her trach for years than I'm not too sure she'll have much of a voice anyway. I guess Brad and I better start learning our sign language...

On another note, Eden has been having trouble with her ears so while she was under anesthesia the doc also went ahead and put tubes in both her ears to help drain the fluid that keeps getting in them. Hopefully we will get some good results there and they won't cause any further problems.

So even though all the news was basically not too good, I walked away feeling at peace knowing that step was done and we can move on to get another opinion. No matter what happens, our life with a trach is ok, and I have come to accept it as is and try to focus more on the blessings of our beautiful, happy baby Eden.

As of this moment, the bronchoscopy is on!

She's happier again... that's a huge blessing! Overall she is still much more sensitive and fussy than normal, but at least her smiles are coming back. Thank goodness!


We had an appointment with the pulmonologist and were able to find out a little more about why her oxygen requirement is so high. Basically, the problem: mucus. Gross I know, but when your child has a trach, mucus is a very normal topic of conversation. :)

So because of the trach infection, Eden had a lot more mucus and unfortunately her weak little preemie lungs weren't very effecient in coughing and clearing it out of there. So several of the small branches of her lungs have been plugged by mucus and the lungs behind those plugs have collapsed. Therefore, she has a high oxygen requirement because she is trying to breath with reduced lung capacity.

So unfortunately there's really nothing too much that we can do to get these plugs out except for breathing treatments, CPT, big coughs, and time. (CPT treatments include a little suction cup thing that I use to tap the heck out of her back and front after each breathing treatment). Hopefully we will get this worked out sooner rather than later!

As of right now, the bronchoscopy is on. We are scheduled to be at the hospital at 8:45 in the morning and the anesthesiology team will check her out and make the call as to whether or not they think it's safe to put her under considering her current condition. Hopefully they will determine that we are ok to go ahead.

Not only do I want this bronch to hopefully get some answers, but there are also a lot of other complications if this doesn't go through. Currently there is only 1 pediatric ENT in the state and she will be going on maternity leave in June. If we don't go tomorrow we won't be seeing her. Once she is on leave, there are two other ENTs that will be taking over for her, but they both come from working on adults and I'm not sure at all what kind of pediatric experience they have. No good. Let's just hope we can go through with the plan tomorrow.

So in the midst of all the sickness drama over the past week, I also discovered that Eden has cut her first tooth. Poor baby, she seems so distressed overall and who knows what's causing it - trach infection, lack of lung power, extreme diaper rash from the antibiotics she's taking, her first tooth, etc. So much all at once! That little tooth sure looks cute though!


Fortunately Eden has been able to get some good cuddle time with her grandma. It's a great thing for all involved because this is when I get the chance to finally get some stuff done around the house, away from our 3 foot diameter around Eden's machine! :) Thanks mom, we're so glad you're home.

Eden's illness update

I'm excited to someday get our living room back. She has quite the setup!

Sleeping is something she's been doing a lot of over the past week. Tomorrow will mark the one week anniversary since we went to the ER and unfortunately there haven't been too many changes in the right direction. Some of the symptoms of the trach infection have gone away, which makes me think the antibiotics are working to get rid of it, but she is still on about 4 times as much oxygen as she was before she was sick, which is pretty extreme. While watching her breath it's pretty easy to see that it's quite the struggle for her poor little body.

I've been in contact with three different doctors who all seem to be a little confused by this too. I've been given a plan to follow: nebulizer breathing treatments every 4 hours around the clock, and steroid medication twice a day to see if this will help reduce her oxygen dependance. We will go in to see the pulmonologist doctor tomorrow so she can take a look too.

I continue to hope and pray that she will be recovered enough for her bronchoscopy appointment this Friday. Miracles do happen!

I must say though, thank goodness for the feeding tube! Without that, we would have definitely had even more severe problems this week! Eden has absolutely refused to have anything near her mouth so I've been able to keep her fed and hydrated through the tube. She hasn't taken so much as a drop in the past week. She just sees me coming towards her with a bottle and she starts to fuss. I just hope and pray that this is not going to set us back with all the work we've been doing to get her to eat orally. I just can't think about that too much right now though - one thing at a time! We will cross this bridge when we get there, but in the meantime we'll just work on getting healthy again.


You'd never know she was running over 100 degree temperature when this picture was taken.

Our sweet girl wants so bad to be her happy self, and occasionally we are able to get a little smile, but overall she really isn't a very happy little camper.

Michael's homecoming - what an awesome day!

Michael's life, and all of our lives, were drastically changed on Jan 3rd of this year when Michael was severly injured in an IED attack in Afghanistan. Since that day he has been recovering in both Washington DC and Palo Alto, CA. My dad was out there for the first 6 weeks before having to return to NM for work, and my mom was with Michael the entire time. Wednesday was an amazing day for the family as we welcomed both mom and Michael home.

It's hard for me to put words to how I felt that day. People of the community, both those we know and those we don't, really came together to show their support for Michael and the hero that he is. It was an amazing experience to be a part of.

Our immediate family was able to be escorted to the actual arrival gate so that we could have some time to reunite with mom and Michael away from the crowd outside the security checkpoint. Before Michael came off the plane, an announcer had come over the intercom and told the people in the waiting area that Michael was a wounded airman returning from Afghanistan. When he walked out the door of the terminal everyone in the area stood and began to applaud him. It was such a touching experience, and one I will never forget. We hugged and cried as the strangers around us audibly showed Michael the support he deserves. As we then proceeded out of the gate area, several people came up to Michael to say thank you.

We walked out of the security checkpoint into an amazing welcome! The crowd was huge, consisting of family, friends, news media crews, and plenty of strangers who were there with the Blue Star Mother's group. Oh and I can't forget to mention that there was even a bag pipe player serenading us with some patriotic tunes! It was so much fun and I can't describe how much I appreciate all the people who were there to support our family.

Here are some (ok, lots!) of photos from the airport:
















The welcome at the airport was amazing, but the party didn't stop there! The family caravan of vehicles was then escorted by police and the Patriot Guard Motorcycle Riders from the airport to my parents home. There were so many motorcycles!


Once we got into Bosque Farms, our home town, the streets were lined with people there cheering and saluting Michael. It was so touching.


By the end of the day, after most the visitors had gone, Michael was so worn out!


My family has been so moved by this experience. Thanks again to everyone who came to show their support. I know that Michael too was extremely touched and honored that so many came out to show their gratitude and support for him.

Michael - I want you to know that I am so proud that you're my brother! You have been so amazing throughout this journey and have taught me so much about always looking for the positives in any experience. Your courage and bravery has been so inspiring. You truly are an American hero - my hero.



So as if all of this isn't enough to bring pure joy and happiness, this also happened....


Congrats to you both! Jesse, we are so excited to welcome you into this crazy family! We couldn't be any more excited and happy for these two lovebirds!

Oh how I hate going to the hospital - especially the ER!

So this week started out crazy, but a good crazy because preparations were under way to welcome Michael and my mom home. Eden was miss "happy-go-lucky" like her usual self, except for a small cough which started up on Monday. A cough + a trach = lots of suctioning! I knew something was up, but I figured maybe she had some allergies because the wind was really bad that morning and I had been sneezing all day too. That night though I knew it had to be something more serious.

From the time I went to bed around 10pm up until around midnight, I was up suctioning Eden every 10-15 minutes. She got more and more distressed as time went on and was crying, which is very unlike her. At this point I checked her temperature and was suprised that it read 102.

The remainder of the night was kind of a blur that consisted of cold towels, tylenol, motrin, coughing, suctioning, lots more temp taking, and of course, no sleep. In addition to all of this, she was now requiring twice as much oxygen as she usually needed. When her oxygen usage had doubled and her temperature hit 103.5 I knew it was time to take her into the ER.

We got right in and she was stabilized and then the waiting began, as it always does in the ER. I think we were there a total of around 7 hours - yuck! And of course, when we first got there two nurses came in and said they would need to get blood for some blood tests and start an IV. I told them that Eden's veins were all completely shot from the amount of IVs she has had in the past and explained to them that nobody has been successful in getting an IV in a long time. I think they just thought I was an over protective parent who was just trying to be difficult and they proceeded by first saying, "we do this all the time. We place IVs in children like her every day, and we will look really carefully before we poke." So three pokes later, and lots of tears from both Eden and I, they stopped trying for the IV and squeezed out enough blood for the blood tests from the IV they tried in her head. Poor baby - these things make me so angry.

So anyway, to make a very long story short, she has an infection in her trach which creates a lot of problems. Imagine only having one nostril to breath out of, and then that nostril gets infected - yeah... not a pretty picture. So, after a couple days her temperature finally broke, and now we are working on reducing the coughing and reducing her oxygen requirement. Today we've seen some significant improvement so I'm hoping we are on the road to a quick recovery.

My biggest hope and prayer right now is that she will fully recover and be ok for the scheduled bronchoscopy with ENT next week. That appointment is very important so delaying that would not be a good thing! Come on Eden... let's get this thing moving out so we can move on!!

Mother's Day!

Today I'm celebrating my first mother's day as a mother and I could not feel any more blessed! It's amazing to me how natural the transition has been. I know this is what I was meant for. All I ever wanted in life was to be a mother and it's everything I hoped for and more! How could I not feel blessed when I get to spend all day with this little beauty:



I'm also so blessed to have two incredible mothers in life, my own mom who has taught me so much and has raised me to become the woman I am today, and my mother-in-law who has raised an incredible man who takes care of me and Eden. Words can't express how truely blessed I feel. Thanks mom and Kirma for all you do for me - happy Mother's Day!

The bike ride!

We recently got a bike trailer so we can take Eden around on bike rides. She is still a little small for the carrier, as you'll see, but she didn't seem to mind that and drifted right off to sleep within minutes of our ride. This is how we found her when we got home:

Most bike rides end this way, but if she does manage to stay awake she just sits in there happy as can be. I think she's is loving the beautiful weather just as much as we are!

Colorado weekend!

Last weekend we were able to go out to Colorado for my cousin's baby shower. It was a quick trip up and back, but we had such a fun time and we're so glad we were able to go.

Here's the group at the shower. Congrats Allie! We are so excited for the baby to join the family very soon!


Just hanging out at the shower. Apparently there was a shortage of chairs.


We had some good game time while we were there. Playing cards with this group is always so fun.


Eden was loving all the attention from our cousins.


My cousin's daughters were so adorable with Eden. They took such good care of her and shared all their favorite toys with her. It's a little hard to see, but Eden has a little animal toy in each hand. It was so cute to watch them playing, and Eden would smile so big everytime they would come around.


They also built her a fort and told her stories as she laid inside. I think these two girls were the most upset when we had to go home.


I know I'm biased, but I have a great family and absolutely love spending time with them! Thanks Allie for giving us a great reason to come stay the weekend! Congrats again!