Talent Show

When Eden was in preschool, as a fun activity and to help her with her confidence and social skills, I signed her up for a singing performing group called Sunshine Generation. She liked going each week and singing and doing simple choreography. However, when it came to the end of the season and they would do a group performance, she absolutely hated it! She had so much fear and anxiety and it never got better with each performance. Needless to say, we didn't keep signing her up for that because it turned out to not be a fun experience, but one that was so scary for her.    

So yes, it's been a couple years, but you can imagine my shock when Eden came home with a paper about auditions for the talent show and announced to me that she wanted to try out with a song on the piano.  This was one of those parenting moments where I had to keep a poker face and hide what I was really thinking because inside I was thinking she must not understand what this process actually means: trying out in front of judges, possibly not being chosen, and if she was chosen then she would have to play in front of the whole school! I was excited that she was excited and confident in her piano skills, but I was also being a protective parent who didn't want to watch her go through something potentially really scary and hard.  So in that moment, I just said, "Ok cool. Let's think on this and we will talk about it later." 

After stressing over it a bit, it became very clear to me that I needed to support her 100% and encourage her in this. I was so scared that it would turn out to be a disaster and potentially reignite the old anxiety and fear she used to deal with a lot, but she felt ready and I wasn't going to take that away from her.

So she signed up to audition, all the while seeming very excited to play "Part of your world" from the Little Mermaid.  Audition day came and the plan was to meet after school in front of the cafeteria. Grandma was so awesome, and came with me (to support Eden, but also to support me because I was a nervous wreck!). As we were walking into the school I heard an announcement over the intercom "Eden Justice's mom, please come to the office".  Immediately I knew what was happening and ran to the office to find Eden crying and super upset because she couldn't find me. Her nerves were finally overwhelming her and it all came out when she got to the cafeteria and couldn't find me.

We got her calmed down and we joined the long line of anxious kids waiting to try out for the talent show. We learned that there were 42 acts, but only 20 would make it into the show. The line took a while so we were visiting with some of the other kids around us, but Eden was very quiet and very nervous. A couple girls in line ahead of us who were in 4th or 5th grade were so sweet and encouraging to Eden as we waited.  

Then it was finally her turn. I was so nervous for her. I knew she could play this song perfectly at home, but wasn't sure how she would do now with so much pressure and the nerves! She was so timid and nervous, but when they called her name she walked right up to that piano and played her song perfectly. As soon as she was done, she very shyly spun around toward the judges and gave them the cutest little smile. I immediately teared up because I was just so incredibly proud (and so relieved!) It was so sweet too to see how amazing she felt about herself once it was all done.

At that point, it didn't matter whether or not she was chosen to be in the actual talent show. What she accomplished was something I never thought she would volunteer to do, and it was so incredible to watch. She was so proud of herself and her confidence in herself grew so much. I couldn't help but cry tears of joy, not only because of this thing she accomplished, but because of all the amazing things she has accomplished over the years. She has come so far, it's incredible.

Watching your kids do hard and scary things is so incredibly hard!! Selfishly, I just wanted to talk her our of this audition all together as a way to shield her from possible embarrassment and disappointment.  I didn't know if the nerves would get the best of her and she would have an experience so bad that would make her discouraged in piano for good. Heck, there was no way that I was brave enough at 6 years old to be in the school talent show, so just the thought of anyone volunteering for this seemed like torture to me!  I know that I can't shield my kids from hard things though, so this was a great learning experience for us all.

I'm so glad she did this, and more importantly, she is so glad she did it and is so proud of herself.

We found out the next day that she was chosen to be in the actual talent show. We would later find out that she would perform in the dress rehearsal, and then twice for the student body. She was a little nervous again each time, but handled it like a champ and played her song beautifully every time.

She had quite the cheering section! We brought her a bouquet of flowers for after her performance and she thought that was pretty special.

She looked so big and grown up during her performance.

A couple weeks later I found this pretty artwork in her backpack. She really is so brave and I'm so grateful that she knows that too.

I love my Eden so very much.